Mandy Mikulencak

Tag: writing

  • Reading, Writing and Thanking

    I’m grateful today!

    The first thank-you goes to Betty McMahon. I don’t know Betty McMahon but she found my blog. And commented on an old post. And said she liked my blog and added it to her blogroll.

    But I’m thanking her not just for reading, but for giving me the push I needed to write a new blog post. It’s been MORE THAN THREE WEEKS.

    Granted, I was on business travel for a good portion of that time, but the rest of the time I was sulking around, complaining about how many extra hours I’ve been putting in at my day job and not working on my novel. I conveniently ignore the hours I spent watching bad television or reading the Fifty Shades of Stupid trilogy in that time period. Betty reminds me that writing (often) is important – and that kind strangers out there may even stumble upon my blog and enjoy it!

    Thanks also go out to my nephew, Hunter Knox, who happens to be living with me this summer until the apartment he’s renting becomes available. Few people I know read as much as Hunter does. My guest room is stacked with books (only a fraction of those he owns). He also works at Maria’s, our local independent bookstore, and has access to ARCs (advanced reading copies) of books.

    The other morning, he rushed in with an ARC of short stories by George Saunders. Hunter said I “had” to read a short piece – only one page – called Sticks. So, I did. And I will never be the same. First, the writing is absolutely brilliant – an economy of words that knocks the wind out of the reader. Second, it made me jealous. Saunders can craft a story like nobody’s business. But it’s a good kind of jealous – the kind that makes me want to write more, to improve my craft so that one day my readers are blown away by the words I string together.

    For those interested,  here’s link to the short story. The few minutes you invest in reading it will be worth it.

    So cool that a stranger and a relative both inspired me to write this week.

  • Your Writing Makes Me Vomit (or Words Not to That Effect)

    Your Writing Makes Me Vomit (or Words Not to That Effect)

    Reject (the verb) is such a god-awful word and its literal definitions are downright depressing:

    –To refuse to accept, submit to, believe, or make use of.
    –To discard as defective or useless.
    –To spit out or vomit.

    It’s a shame that we use the word so liberally in the writing world. “Honey, I got another rejection today!”

    I know that journal editors are not vomiting my writing or saying it’s defective. How rude would that be! Yet, they aren’t saying much when they send the generic note card or half slip of paper that looks like it’s been photocopied a thousand times. Sure, some of those note cards are mighty fancy and would be something to ooh and ahh over if they were party invitations and not the bearers of bad news.

    In five months, my “no” pile has grown to 36 and my “yes” pile is a lonely one acceptance. The good news is that those 36 rejections (no thank-yous) were for 13 different pieces. A published author I know said not to dare complain about rejection until one piece has been turned down 10, 20, 40 times. Some of my short stories and essays have only received 2, 3, and 4 rejections. I’ll hold the tears for now.

    The best news is that from time to time you’ll actually hear from a real live person who reads your work and responds with feedback that will help you improve the piece. I submitted a short fiction piece to Our Stories literary magazine. Today, I received a critique from an editor. Below is a short excerpt from her much longer review:

    As you have noticed, I hardly made any corrections throughout the text: your prose is really clear and beautiful; the voice sucks you in and doesn’t let go till the end. Right now, however, this entry has a feel of an exercise in the character’s background, voice and working out of the mother-daughter relationship dynamics, rather than a complete short story. The dramatic arc is lacking in the present. There is a slow reveal of information, but it has minimal effect on characters in the current set-up. So, given these wonderful, fully-formed, complex characters with distinctive voices and personal histories, launch them into a real story, while keeping all of the other info in either flashbacks or exposition or – in part – in the bride’s thoughts.

    Eureka! This gives me something to chew on. I get what she’s saying and have tangible advice to guide my revision. That kind of “rejection” motivates me to rewrite rather than turn to chocolate ice cream. Hurray for these kinds of days in a writer’s life.

  • Reading, Writing and Guilt

    After the AROHO writers’ retreat I attended in August, I was gung-ho about signing up for writer’s blogs and subscribing to writing magazines. I bought works by short story writers I hoped to emulate.

    I work at a national nonprofit as a marketing/communications specialist three days a week (Tuesday-Thursday). I envisioned Mondays and Fridays as days to devote to reading and writing. Instead, I’ve been in a quagmire of guilt because I haven’t done much of either lately. The stack of books and magazines sits on my nightstand and mocks me. “Look at the money you spent on us!” “Stop being such a cry baby and get to work!”

    I’ve always been such a motivated ‘employee.’ Yet, I’ve found it difficult to stay energized about my craft when I’m only accountable to me, myself and I. I suppose self doubt fuels apathy, which then translates to procrastination.

    Yikes. What a pity party I’m having today. Writers – how much do you read and how do you make time for it?

  • Conjure the Dream

    Conjure the Dream

    I’ve written several times about my intention board — it has my calls to the universe for things I want to manifest in my life. Well, until today, they’ve only been words on Post-It notes; nothing visual.

    I recently ran across a powerful exercise for first-time novelists. You’re supposed to seek out an image you think represents your future book cover — and then cut out words and paste up a mock cover to remind you of the dream of publishing that manuscript one day.

    Can I just say HOW MUCH FUN it was to do this? I have some graphic design expertise so I did a pretty involved mock-up (see photo). Then, I did one for the two women in my writers’ group. (We had breakfast today to pump each other for a Friday full of writing.)

    The Artist’s Way also encourages writers to imagine all the juicy details of their dreams. Not just stating “Publish book.” The author suggests writing specifics about what it would mean to achieve that dream. My image is walking in downtown Durango past Maria’s, our independent bookstore, and seeing copies of my book in the window with a sign, “Latest Novel from Local Author Mandy Mikulencak.”

    A former co-worker of mine would write her dreams/wants/desires on pieces of paper, fold them up and hide them in different places in her house. Another would write out her intentions and then burn them, sending the smoke up as her request to the universe.
    Do you take time to conjure your dream, in all its glorious details? I highly recommend it.

  • Best Revenge is Massive Success

    I walk along the river trail in Durango two to three times a week. I say hello to everyone I pass but only one out of several will reply or smile. I came home in a snit the other day because this trend really started to bother me. “What’s wrong with me?” I asked my husband.

    The next day, I heard a bit on the radio about a study that revealed a person’s self-esteem is boosted when others smile or say hello to them. Aha! Each time someone failed to respond (smile, nod, speak), I felt rejected!

    Rejection…a walker’s AND a writer’s constant companion.

    My friend, Liz, from Austin, sent me a cool link about famous authors who were rejected repeatedly and often rudely by publishers and agents. I’ve never felt more hopeful about my novels’ prospects!

    Here’s just a sample of the comments. Are you as blown away as I am?

    • Stephen King’s novel, Carrie, was rejected dozens of times. One publisher said: “We are not interested in science fiction which deals with negative utopias. They do not sell.”
    • William Golding’s Lord of the Flies was rejected by 20 publishers. One denounced the future classic with these words: “An absurd and uninteresting fantasy which was rubbish and dull.”
    • Margaret Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind was rejected 38 times.
    • John Grisham’s first novel, A Time to Kill, was rejected by a dozen publishers and 16 agents before breaking into print and launching his best-selling career.
    • After John le Carré submitted his first novel, The Spy Who Came in From the Cold, one of the publishers sent it along to a colleague, with this message: “You’re welcome to le Carré – he hasn’t got any future.”

    As Frank Sinatra once said, “The best revenge is massive success.”

  • Scrabble and the Sh**ty First Draft

    So, I skipped my blog on Thursday and played Scrabble instead. My husband’s sister (Camm) and brother (Garth) are in town and she’s a Scrabble fiend.

    Here’s the irony. I’m a professional writer and editor and I can only come up with words like aim, key, box, top, get. But because we play gals against guys, she’s the reason we win.

    Sometimes I’ll look at my tray of letters and my mind draws a complete blank. I could have a seven-letter word worth an extra 50 points but my brain locks up and I fail to see what’s right there in front of me.

    Occasionally, it’s like that when I work on my novel or other fiction. I’m staring, staring, staring at a paragraph. There’s got to be a better work for X, I think. I stare some more. Surely, it will come to me. BRAIN LOCK!

    I tend to obsess over a sentence or a paragraph instead of getting that sh***y first draft on paper. In fact, I’ve gotten into the nasty habit of starting up my computer, opening the file and reading FROM THE BEGINNING before I start writing. Now, I start each new chapter in a different file so I’m not so tempted to obsess about what’s already been written.

    Self-doubt, perfectionism, ego… all enemies of the sh***ty first draft. Come on! Let’s toughen up! Put those random thoughts down; don’t fret about complete sentences, perfect punctuation, stilted dialogue, purple prose and the occasional POV shift.

    Author Natalie Goldberg writes about the editor/censor being stronger than the writer at times. Maybe a bit of compassion for ourselves could unlock the creative force that’s resisting the constraints we so often put on our writing.

  • Voices in Your Head Besides Your Own

    Wally Lamb, author of “She’s Come Undone,” writes from the perspective of Dolores, an obese, isolated young woman who attempts suicide during her first semester in college and spends seven years in a mental institution.

    There’s a lot more to the book but my point is that Wally is a man, writing from a woman’s perspective about rape, eating disorders, a ticking biological clock and more. Not once when I was reading the book did I think, “This is a guy trying to sound like a woman.” Dolores’ voice rang true throughout.

    This brings me to the assumption that writers write what they know. Many beginning writers do because it’s easier to draw from personal experiences when first trying to craft a story. Many start with memoirs because they’ve been comfortable journaling for a large part of their lives – and let’s face it, our childhoods provide a lot of material.

    But writers also step into the lives of people completely unlike themselves and tell rich, complex stories from the viewpoint of another sex, race, sexual orientation, age, or species!

    One of my novels is about Cissy, a 16-year-old girl in South Mississippi in the late 1960s who shoots her father five times in the back for sexually abusing her for 10 years. I’ve never been to Biloxi. My father didn’t sexually assault me. I’ve never been institutionalized in a state mental hospital.

    I hear Cissy’s voice in my head, clearer than most of the voices in my head (kidding). Seriously though, my goal is that Cissy will speak to my readers, that her story will stand on its own and that my contribution is providing a vehicle for her voice.

  • Eat Bon-Bons for a Living

    I’m a big believer of sending out intentions to the universe and being very specific about what you want. I wanted more time to write, I asked for more time to write, and before I knew it, there was a flurry of gifts from the universe that allowed me to do just that.

    “The universe is giving me what I asked for!” I wanted to shout to everyone I knew.

    I wasn’t prepared for the lukewarm and sometimes negative responses to my news of going part-time so I could concentrate at least 20-24 hours a week on the novels and other writing. And these responses were from friends!

    “In this economy? What are you thinking?!”
    “I wish I had that luxury!”
    “I wish I didn’t have to work.”

    To that last comment, I wrote my friend and said, “I’m not going to be eating bon-bons on my days off. I’m treating this as a real job. I’m going to get up and sit at my desk and write.”

    I recently saw a talk by author Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) on TED. If you haven’t seen it, WATCH IT NOW! She speaks to the fear-based reactions that writers often get from friends and family:
    Aren’t you afraid you won’t make any money?
    Aren’t you afraid you won’t be successful?
    Aren’t you afraid the humiliation of rejection will kill you?

    Gilbert asks “Is it logical to be afraid of doing the work you were put on this earth to do?”

    She’s often asked what she will do if her next book isn’t as successful as Eat, Pray, Love. Gilbert admitted it will likely not be as successful as her “freakish first success.” But she was going to keep getting up each and every day to write because that’s her job.

    And that’s what you’ll find me doing on Mondays and Fridays – writing, doing my job, showing up. Although bon-bons do sound pretty good right about now…

  • A Thrilling, Frightening New Path

    Some time ago, I ran across a quote by Lao-tzu that hit me like a ton of bricks. “At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” I immediately e-mailed it to several friends. My wise friend Wendy wrote back and asked, “What’s the answer?” Without hesitation, I responded, “I must write.”

    This statement needs clarification. I’ve been a writer my entire life, starting as a journalist and then serving as a writer/editor for national and international nonprofits for 20 years. In October 2008, something shifted. I have enjoyed most of my career, but it has left me exhausted and burned out. I rarely had time for personal (non work-related) writing — and most attempts were prompted by profound life experiences such as a family member’s death or some insight gained in therapy.

    In October 2008, that changed. One morning, I woke up and began creative writing again, words spilling out almost beyond my control. I couldn’t type fast enough. It was almost as if I were taking dictation from a belligerent muse.

    Having never attempted a novel-length work, I started two pieces of fiction at the same time. I also began writing personal essays and pitching magazine articles to editors again. What the heck was going on?

    Next, I started putting “intentions” out to the universe (in the form of Post-It notes on my bulletin board): Attend a writer’s retreat. Finish the novel by Dec. 31, 2009. Start or join a local writers’ group. Get accepted to Hedgebrook 2010. Write for fun. Writing is a calling, not a hobby.

    A year later, I’ve made some serious steps toward living a writer’s life.

    • I negotiated a part-time job with my employer so I can write more.
    • I attended a writers’ retreat for women sponsored by A Room of Her Own Foundation. (Check this out — it will change your life!)
    • I applied for a one-month writer’s residency in 2010 at Hedgebrook (selections take place in December).
    • I formed a local writers’ group where four amazing women meet twice monthly to critique each other’s novels in progress.
    • I write for fun!
    • I was so inspired by short story writer Pamela Painter that I am writing some flash fiction and LOVE IT.
    • I just had my first piece of fiction accepted by a literary journal (Wilderness House Literary Review).
    • I am completing The Artist’s Way (by Julia Cameron) with a good friend (we keep each other honest about morning pages and artist’s dates).

    This new path is thrilling and frightening. I spent 22 years at full-time jobs with deadlines from co-workers, clients or bosses. My work was externally driven. I was a hard worker! I produced results! I punched a time clock!

    Now, I am faced with a blank slate the days I’m not working at my “day job.” I am accountable only to myself. I must find a way to structure my days with writing, revising, researching, blogging, reading good writing, sending out my work. I must find a way to ignore the calls of dirty laundry, unmade beds or unwashed dishes.

    Thanks, La0-tzu, for helping me clarify my path. I’ll stumble along the way, and make a few wrong turns (or detours), but it’s bound to be more fun that way. Hope you’ll join me for part of the journey.